November 2019 Part 4: The Everyday and In-Between

In November, we did a lot of those things we normally do, and then some stuff we don't normally do, like this:

No idea what is going on there. 

We took more selfies (I blame my photography social media accounts for all my selfies. I always intend to post them there, but then I never do.Instead, I post the best ones here.)

Gabe took lots of naps again. 

We read books. 

We helped Taryn move. I went down one day to help pack her house and then to go to her new house to help her clean it. Chelsea and Cal came to help pack, Cassidy and Cal came to help clean at the new house. I was there until well after midnight, so I stayed in a hotel down the street from her (something we figured might happen, so Brian told me to do the hotel thing before I even headed her way). 

The next day, Brian came to help pack up the final things and unload at the new house. He got a kick out of some of Taryn's labels on her boxes. 

Gabe took more naps. 

Brian got his big-A award for working at Adobe for 5 years, even though technically, he was a month shy. 

Even though Michael is trying on sunglasses at the eye doctor's office, he really walked away with contacts. Yup, Michael is now officially a contact wearing fellow. 

We brushed our teeth and were a little silly. What can I say? 

We went to see Heather in her school's production of Mama Mia! She did an amazing job, and the production was very well done, even if we all thought the play itself was a little inappropriate for high schoolers to put on. 

We took more selfies. 

We went to church 

and someone worked on her portraits some more. 

I took Lea's family's pictures, which was pretty fun.  

We made it through Veteran's Day without too many tears. 

And Gabe took some more naps. 

Chelsea introduced me to a game that's on my cell phone case: get all the glitter to the bottom. It's actually more difficult than it sounds. Here's me winning it. 

We played with Gracie. 

We had family time. 

And Brian had a job interview with Facebook. They put him up in this sweet hotel. 

This interview put us into a bit of a tailspin around here. Brian had no intention of leaving Adobe, but he felt like he should at least give this a go. We weren't sure where this would lead us. I confess that I kind of liked the idea of heading to another state for a different kind of adventure. I researched homes in the Seattle area, since that's where he'd probably end up if he got the job. We threw out lots of "What ifs?"What if the Lord wants us somewhere else? Would we go? What about this house? 

Turns out, the worrying was for naught. Brian didn't get offered a job, and he wasn't terribly impressed with his interviewers. It hurt his pride a bit to not get an offer, and while there was some relief there, I confess that I really liked the idea of a change, and this change-bug stayed with me long after we knew that we wouldn't be moving out of state. 

I made some throw pillows for the nautical room at my mom's house. 

And I got them done in time for her to take them home after she visited for Rachel's Nutcracker performance. 

Michael is obsessed with planes, and he scraped and saved and saved to earn an RC Airplane. I don't remember if this is his first one, or one of several that have come along since then. There have been so many tears following this plane getting lost. 

Speaking of Facebook, missing planes, and broken dreams, the exercise tramp breathed its last. 

Also in November, Gabe took another nap: 

And struggled to sit still during Sacrament Meeting. 

We visited Nana and Papa. 

Did dishes. 

And had a little too much fun with a googley eye: 

We practiced writing. 

We practiced piano.

Michael earned his Bear award. 

My dad's half-sister, Melanie died suddenly and unexpectedly in November. They're not sure why, just that she did. She was maybe 5-10 years older than Emily. Chelsea and I attended her funeral since we knew that's what Dad would want us to do, and it was such a depressing memorial. They didn't have any set speakers or musical numbers, just an open mic for whoever wanted to say something. Most of the people got up to talk about how much they regretted. They regretted that their last words to Melanie were those of anger. That she passed before they could make things right. Chelsea and I both wanted to get up and say something positive, but since we had never been close to her, and our latest interactions with her revolved around Dad's funeral, we didn't want to get up and make it about him. I kind of regret not saying anything. She deserved a much nicer funeral than that. After the funeral, we decided to go to Cafe Rio to share a plate of Bereavement Nachos, not for Melanie, but for Dad. For his siblings. For us. 

And they were delicious. 

When Frozen 2 came out, we took the kids to see it. The scene in the cave had me reduced to a puddle though. I didn't expect that kind of beautiful pain to come up in this movie. Don't go see this if you've lost someone recently. All ended well though. 

We ate at a buffet at one point, and Michael decided to try a lemon. 

Gracie took advantage of Gabe's carelessness by sleeping on his dropped blanket in the dining room while I worked in the kitchen. 

And we all did some of this:

We raked leaves:

And Gabe pilfered a toy from the Nursery. He said his teacher gave it to him. We're not sure what the real story is, but he loved this little dino thing, so we just bought his story. 

It was a different misdemeanor at Church that landed him in this time-out spot. Probably from running amok down the hallways. 

We took advantage of our heaters and our fireplaces. 

I got my new 2020 planner. I was excited to fill this pretty thing up with awesome things! 2020 was going to be so amazing! 

We smiled. 

And we cried. 

I wonder how many people have their heart tugged at Christmas time. I wonder about how much pain comes with it. You may look at this picture (below) and see joy and Yuletide. You may see love, you may see commercialism. You may see cheesiness. Well, I see all those things too, but I also see a stocking that I lovingly made during a Christmas I was expecting a baby. I made six coordinating stockings, so hopeful that one day, there would be six people in our house: 4 kids and 2 parents. This stocking, I experimented with some beading, rejected it, and left the other five without it. I was eventually going to take it off, but a couple of weeks after Christmas, I lost that baby. The next Christmas, when I was hugely pregnant with Rachel, I decided to just leave it how it was. It's become the stocking for the babies that we lost. 

The Santa Claus was a gift from my dear friend, Thelma. My brother and I used to go visit her and her husband. They'd give us candy and tell us so many stories. When I was in high school, she came to my plays and even helped promote them. She sent me letters while I was on my mission. She gave me this Santa one year, and I treasure it. She passed away in 2018 when she was in her late 80s or early 90s. I sobbed when I went to send my Christmas cards that year and came to her name. I couldn't bring myself to delete her from the list. 

The middle stocking is similar to the stockings we had growing up, and my dad was always on the hunt to find similar ones as his family expanded. I don't remember if he found this one and gave it to Michael or Brian. I don't know if I ever even hung it up, but it reminds me of all things Dad with Christmas. 

I keep these things in memorial. They bring me pain, but only because of the joy I once felt from the people they represent. The hardest part is knowing that this little pile is just going to grow as the years go on. Pain is the price we pay when we love, and it is definitely a price worth paying. We couldn't tell the story of November 2019 without mentioning that there was some pain there too. 

And as we ended November with gratitude for our blessings and headed into December to celebrate the birth of our Savior, it all took on new meaning to me. Never had I needed that Reason for the Season as I needed it in 2019.