June 14: A Bookend Day

We got up, I fed Gabe, and the stars aligned in such a way that I actually made it out the door for a morning walk. I had Rachel and Gabe in the jogging stroller and Michael rode his bike beside us. These walks have been getting progressively harder, thanks to my hip, but we made it out, and I was feeling pretty good about myself. We started our typical mile look heading first south, then east, then north, then west, and finally south to our house. As we were wrapping up the walk, we had to pass Sam's old house, and I felt the familiar melancholy come. How much easier these walks would be if Sam were still here, I though. I felt the incredible emptiness that her absence left, a gaping hole in our lives and so many things that we used to do, like these morning walks. 

Shaking the sadness off, we got ready for the day. It was Rachel's first day at her princess dance camp, and we were both pretty excited. She loves all things princesses and dancing. It was a match made in heaven. We watched her twirl and get so excited about every princess in class and every princess song that she recognized. I loved that we're finally getting to things that are just for her. She's been a tag-along and spectator to so many of Michael's things for her whole life. I smiled a lot watching my sweet girl. 

 Then the day was pretty normal. Lunch. Chores. Laughing. Crying. Probably some fights. The excitement when Daddy comes home. Dinner. Baths. Family scriptures.

And that's when it happened. Rachel was rocking away in my old, childhood rocker. She was being a little wild. Both Brian and I tried to get her to calm down and pay attention to the things we were reading in the scriptures. That's when she rocked so hard that she tipped over and her head landed on the very corner of our hearth in the most sickening thud. Her crying was slightly delayed from the shock of the impact. I rushed over to see lots of blood trickling down her wet hair, taking on a much more startling shade of red.

 A wash cloth was fetched and applied to her head. We started gathering things to head to the InstaCare. I called my neighbor across the street (who hasn't even lived there quite a full year yet) to see if she could take Gabe and help Michael get to bed. Thankfully, she was home and willing and able. Brian rushed Gabe over to her and I gave instructions to her daughter about how to put Michael in bed. We buckled Rachel into the car, and I rode in the back with her to hold the washcloth to her head. By then, she had stopped crying.

I tried to call ahead to let them know that we were on our way, but in the 10 minute drive, no one answered. We got there and there was one receptionist still on duty, and no one was on the phone. I was getting upset that no one was more concerned about my baby's head wound. Finally, we got Rachel checked in, and I sat down with Brian and Rachel to wait to be seen. By then, her bleeding had stopped and she was calm. Brian and I wondered aloud if they would need to shave her head to do stitches, at which point Rachel, who we didn't know was paying attention to our conversation, stated with a bit of panic in her little voice, "I don't want them to cut my hair!" She's three years old and already knows that her hair is her super power.

We finally got called back, and I let Rachel pick a movie to watch on my phone. She chose Cinderella. The nurse tried to clean up her head a little and then applied some numbing cream. And then we waited for 20 minutes for it to take affect. Rachel was content watching Cinderella.

The doctor came in and he and the nurse had some discussion about whether or not to inject her with more numbing agent. They said that, sometimes, kids struggle more with the extra injection than with just having the staples put in. They decided to go ahead an inject her with the numbing shot. I held her hands and told her to squeeze them if it hurt. I told her that she had to hold very, very still and that she was being so brave. She held my hands, continuing to watch her show, only whispering a little, "Ouch" once. Not tears, no freaking out. Just one little "Ouch."

 7 staples later

 and we were on our way.

I carefully washed her hair while Brian went to collect Gabe from our neighbor. We got her tucked into bed and worked on cleaning up blood from the hearth. We got Gabe in bed. We headed to bed, and I reflected on the day. It had been such a Rachel day--first so much joy and excitement and then ending with so much worry and drama. I couldn't help but think that she bookended an otherwise normal, routine day.

As I reflected, I found another bookend. I started the day missing a neighbor and friend, feeling a little abandoned to have her gone. I had depended on her so much for so many things. Then, I remembered about my new neighbor, the one who jumped to our rescue as we rushed out the door to take care of Rachel. Her youngest child is the same age as my oldest, and our lives aren't in the same chapter like Sam and mine were, and so I didn't realize how much of a blessing she was when she moved in. I ended the day feeling so grateful that while the Lord and life took Sam and her family to Wyoming, He gave me someone else to help me in her absence. I'm so grateful for the good that sometimes can  only truly be appreciated when juxtaposed next to the bad.