What Really Matters

There are times in our lives when we get strong, painful reminders about what really matters and what does not.

Last week, we received news that our friend from Wymount, Alice, was in the hospital fighting off a severe infection following the birth of her third child and first daughter. A few days later, we received the official word that she had passed away, leaving behind two sons--the oldest of which is just a year older than Michael--and one week-old daughter. Just like that--within a week of giving birth--she was gone! She was 33 years old.

Tomorrow marks a week since her passing; yesterday was her funeral. Even though we weren't close friends, and I hadn't seen her for a year, her death has hit me really hard, and tears have been a near constant companion since hearing of her death. I can't wrap my head around the fact that the Lord took her home. At one time, I was called to watch after her as her Relief Society president, and I realized yesterday that the love I gained for her never went away after I was released. I keep seeing her in the Wymount quad, reading a book or a magazine while watching her little boy playing on the playground. I remember hearing her play the piano in her apartment and thinking how beautiful her music was. And now she's gone.

Death isn't new for us, and unfortunately, neither are "untimely" deaths. I've had several thoughts this last week, too many to really record here,  but the one I wanted to write about today was this: the things of eternity are what really matter. Being a good, kind person, a good husband or wife, a good father or mother, a good sister or brother, and a good daughter or son. Forgiving others of grudges. Giving a smile to a stranger. Loving your spouse more than you love yourself. Refraining from saying something unkind. Accepting other people's shortcomings. And the biggest one for me--treasuring and teaching your children. It is so easy to get caught up in the petty things of life. It's so easy to get distracted by the views and opinions of the loudest voice in the media, but what really matters is how we love our God, and how we love those around us.

Alice's funeral was beautiful, just as she was. She knew what really mattered; there was never any doubt about that. I'm grateful that I knew her, grateful for her example. And I'm especially grateful that I still have my wonderful Brian, and I'll have him by my side forever, even after death eventually separates us. Families are forever. Alice will live again. And someday, I will meet my maker, and I sure hope that by then I will not need these tough reminders about what really matters.

Alice's family has set up a fund to help her husband Kurt and the children. If you are interested, you may find it here.