Grandma & Granpa's 60th Wedding Anniversary

June 21 marked 60 years of marriage for my grandparents, and so the following Saturday (June 24), we had a big picnic to celebrate. I insisted on being there since I was on my mission during their 50th anniversary party, I was really looking forward to the reunion. Drama that popped up made it hard. How I wish that we adults could practice the ideals we try to teach our children! I'm often amazed that adults still throw fits--myself included. My childhood self was quite shocked to discover it.  I arrived at the party feeling out of sorts, and I only took pictures because my grandma asked me to. I love her, so I tried to suck it up and put on a good face for her, even though I was not in the mood. 

I've been blessed to grow up next to my grandparents, and so I know their siblings pretty well. I didn't realize this until one of my more quirky great-aunts started rubbing my cousin the wrong way. I knew how to handle her while my cousin, who was unfamiliar with her, did not. I hadn't considered that blessing before. Here is my grandma with her sisters that were there. 

 (Here's my confession, I can't think of any other sisters that weren't there, but I'm not sure if this is all of them. I guess I should have paid more attention!)

My mom is fabulous, and I love that Brian took this picture of us:

 My grandpa with his surviving siblings. I love my Uncle Kay and Aunt Valeen. I was sad to see that Kay's wife, Aunt Vel, was not doing very well. I missed seeing Aunt Ruby (Grandpa's sister) and Uncle Brad (Valeen's husband), who have both passed away. Taking these pictures reminded me of how important pictures are. None of us are promised tomorrow, and we only regret the pictures that we don't take.

 I love these two so much.

I was reminded, once again, that I don't really have cousins my age, so I end up feeling lonely at these things. Brian finally understood what I've talked about my whole life after this! Finally, I decided that even though I didn't have cousins to reminisce with, that didn't mean that I couldn't make new memories with cousins now. So, I convinced my younger cousin Lizzy and her husband Brett, as well as my new cousin-in-law Janica to play spoons. We tried to recruit others. Most said no, but we did manage to recruit an elderly neighbor for it. We had a lot of fun. I'll have to remember to do this sooner next time. 

 Gabe enjoyed the party. He loves being outside and he loves food. It was basically a win-win for him.

 After the party, we went back to my parents' house to have dinner and roast marshmallows.

  

Despite drama and disappointments, it was nice to be with family and see some of these amazing people that I haven't seen in a while.

Photography Pursuits

In January, I signed up for an online shooting and editing course by photographers Amy & Jordan Demos. They specialize in natural light photography, specifically wedding photography. Most of the course felt like a review to me, but their systematic approach to taking pictures makes a lot of sense to me. As part of the course, I was invited to a private Facebook page with the other students in the class. This has been incredibly helpful as I've tried to take my photography to the next level. Then, in May, Amy and Jordan released a posing course. I really wanted to get it, but I already felt bad about the money I spent on the first course. 

Then, in church one Sunday, a lady in our ward talked about self-reliance and the importance of getting an education. I had the thought, "If this were a college course, I wouldn't bat an eye about signing up for it." Her talk changed so much. Instead of looking at it as an expense, I looked at it as an investment for my future, a way of being self-reliant (because I'm a little worried about what I'll do if anything happens to Brian, and I really don't like that helpless feeling.) So, I signed up for the posing course as well, and I have LOVED it. I've especially loved getting to know other photographers in the area. On June 3, I met up with two of them in Sandy so we could all practice things we've learned. My new friend, Jocelyn, took this picture. 

Back in May, I decided to set up a booth at the Saratoga Springs Splash Days. It was nerve wracking to think about putting myself out there for this business venture. I registered my business with the state of Utah, worked hard to get my website in a decent place, and tried to mentally walk my way through the day. I planned to do a photo booth, and I was originally going to charge people for taking their pictures, but then Lea suggested that I give them away for free. She was brilliant! I wanted it to be a way to get people to check out my portfolio on my website and hopefully get some referrals from the thing. So far, it appears unsuccessful in that regard, but it helped me stretch.  

 Here's my booth at Splash Days

 While I was running my booth, Brian and the kids watched the parade and then wandered around all the booths.

Before they ran off for all that, though, I had them be test subjects for my booth. 

The wind made the last half of the day impossible, but I was still able to pass out business cards to people passing by.

In May, I wanted to practice wedding stuff, but I had no weddings, so I had the idea to pull out my wedding dress and practice taking some wedding detail shots. Rachel was so excited to see my wedding dress, and begged to be in a few shots, so I allowed it, and they were my favorites. I love these so much because this dress was also my mom's wedding dress, and my grandma made it for her and then kindly remodeled it for me. So, when I look at this dress, I see 4 generations.

 I love this one. It ended up being slightly out of focus, but I was so proud that I was able to talk her into this pose. Notice her little foot pop?

 Brian was wearing his ring, and they were both at work, so I just took a picture with my ring and the combs I wore in my hair on my wedding day. Rachel was also obsessed with these combs. She just loved seeing the things from I wore when I married her dad.

I've really struggled to feel at home in this photography pursuit. Growing up, I knew that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. My mom wanted to be a stay-at-home mom more than anything, and I watched her struggle to make things work so she could have this goal. Some years, she was able to be home with us, but there were so many others that she just couldn't make it work. Through it all, she made it clear that we were the most important people in her life.

I have been blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids, so when I find myself spending more time on photography and less time with my kids, I start to worry about whether or not this is what I should be doing. I guess in my mind, I think that a stay-at-home mom should play with her kids, do crafts, bake cookies, clean her house, and focus on building this next generation.  I want to be that amazing mom who plays with her kids, but I get so bored! And I feel bad because I thought I was going to rock this whole mom thing, and I don't feel like I am. I'm a terrible gardener, I'm not always ultra conscious about my kids' nutrition. I don't necessarily want to have all the kids from the neighborhood hanging out at my house because I don't want the extra mess. I'm not very good at following a schedule, and I waste a lot of time. I often lament that I have all the wrong talents for life! My talents seem to be all in artsy categories that seem to have no eternal value and are impractical in nature.

On the other hand, I've also seen stay-at-home moms who have lost themselves so much in raising their children that they are really unhappy. I've seen moms whose kids are all grown that are at a complete loss with what to do with their lives. Some have felted trapped. I don't want this either. I don't want to completely lose the essence of who I am because at some point, my kids are going to grow up and pursue their own dreams.

One night, as I was sharing these thoughts with Brian for the thousandth time, this thought popped into my head: If the Lord didn't want me to pursue photography, He wouldn't have blessed me with this talent. The thought stopped me in my tracks. I have always believed that we will one day have to make an accounting to the Lord for what we did with the talents we've been given, but somewhere along the lines, I decided that He wasn't talking about our musical or artistic talents, somehow putting less value on those because they seem so unessential and frivolous to my practical mind. If you think about it though, isn't it easier to worship the Lord in a clean, beautiful place instead of in a concrete parking garage? It was only after making the earth a beautiful place that he sent Adam and Eve to live in it. Heavenly Father and Jesus are the most creative beings I know of, and if I want to be like them, doesn't that mean I should pursue my creative talents to the best of my abilities?

I guess in all things, it's trying to find the balance between the extremes. My mom always made sure to take time doing something she enjoyed. She always had a book she was reading, and she always found time to go play volleyball, racquetball, or basketball with her friends. My task now is to pursue my photography deliberately, including my children in it as much as I can. I think I owe it to my daughter to be an example of a woman being a homemaker who also pursues other dreams.

I continue working on my craft and trying to get a business started. I want everything to happen right now, and sometimes it is hard to be patient and wait for things to build to where I want them. I've been doing lots of free shoots, looking at it as my internship. I have a lot more I can say on this whole subject of photography, but suffice it to say that in addition to chasing kids, trying to keep my house in decent order, and coming up with projects, I'm also pursuing a business in photography.

Baseball

We decided to give baseball a try this year. Rachel did T-ball and Michael did Coach pitch. They both got the ugliest colors for their shirts, but I'm probably the only person who was a little irked about it, and irked is a little strong. Actually, maybe not. I really don't like yellow and orange!

Anyway, back to the kids. It was fun to be in baseball mode. Baseball was such a big part of my growing up. My dad loves baseball, and it was one of the few things I remember playing together as a family. When we went on our big trip to Nauvoo when I was in high school, my dad made sure that we made it to a major league baseball team (Kansas City Royals). So, all that nostalgia was brought to the forefront of my mind as I watched these little guys play.

 Michael was pretty good, especially considering he'd never played. I'm about the opposite of athletic, so it always surprises me when my son has athletic skills. He loved it!

 Gabe likes to try to adopt new families at the kids' games. We bring snacks, we bring toys, we even laid out a blanket, but all he wanted to do was just go check out other people's snacks, toys, and blankets.

They played their last game on July 5. I was pretty proud of both of them.

Everyday Life in May

The events are awesom, but it's the everyday moments where we do our real living. Here's some from May:

 Movie night family selfie:

 Gabe discovered the playroom, and Brian and I can't handle how happy that makes us!

 Gabe also discovered the sand box. Now, he is constantly covered in sand.

 Gabe mastered the stairs. Not long after this shot, maybe even the same day, I decided to take the baby gate down.

 My nephew Aaron had a birthday party in a park in Ogden on May 9th. Rachel loved being able to see him and play with Amber.

 Gabe liked being able to play outside.

 Two boys in a tub:

Gabe discovered the playground at the park where Rachel and Michael have their games. It's now a trick trying to keep him away from the playground during games.  

Breakfast! 

 Church-going!

 I know you can't really see it in the picture, but it snowed in May. It was sad, and I had to remind myself that it is just white rain. That's all. Just cold, white rain.

 Baby Jane tried on Rachel's flip-flops:

Gabe and I took more selfies together.

 And the kids played in the playroom while I worked on a photography course online.

 I threw a baby shower for my friend Stephanie.

 We ate food. We love breakfast foods for dinner. (We're having waffles again for dinner tonight, in fact.)

 Gabe started doing this with his legs during meals, and I can't handle how cute it is to see his little feet up like this.

 Gabe discovered where the toothbrushes are. Bathroom doors are now carefully shut or disasters happen.

 My students crack me up with their sticker placement when they pass of their songs. This one was picture worthy:

 We start our kids on chores very young:

 (just kidding. We're terrible about getting our kids to do chores).

Night time hugs, snuggles, and tickle fights:

 Also, Gabe LOVES these pants. He will carry a pair around the house if he gets his hands on it. It makes me happy because I made them for Michael when he was a baby.

More playroom playing and Mom lesson taking: 

  

 Oh! And Gabe is a walker now. It finally happened in May.

 We got a piece of turf for our lower patio. I love how it created more usable space!

 And on the last day in May, T-ball started.

Can you guess what we did in June?