The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I'm just going to come out and say it: I really don't like being pregnant. In fact, I could almost jump to the hate word. Yes, I hate being pregnant. It's really not very fun. Especially this last time around. I'm pretty sure that I've already posted about some of the struggles from this pregnancy, but for future reference, I wanted to just make a quick sum-up of this last pregnancy:

First, the good: 
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was really worried about how it would effect my hip, especially since I had finally found doctors that could help me fix it. I worried that the pain I'd been experiencing would increase, and I was worried about the further damage/wear & tear that could happen as a result of growing a baby. The good thing is that my hip didn't really start acting up until the very end. Near the end of my pregnancy, I had this epiphany: all the back pain that I experienced and the constant fatigue kept me basically resting every chance I got and as a result, it probably saved my hip.

There is something almost magical about feeling your baby moving inside of you. It's really the only thing I like about being pregnant. That and no one judges you for eating too much junk.

Also, because of how lousy I felt through this whole thing, I was more upfront with the people around me, especially my friends and family that I see on a regular basis. Even though I'm sure that they were tired of hearing my complaining, especially Lea, they were also really great about stepping up and helping me. I have been completely overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from my friends and neighbors. So many brought dinners--and those dinners were lifesavers. So many watched my kids so I could go to physical therapy and other appointments. Some took my kids just because. Sometimes, we just need to know that people have our backs, and this pregnancy showed me just how many people have mine.

The one who had my back the most was Brian. There are simply not enough words to describe how amazing he has been. We talk about ourselves as a team, and we try to each do our part to keep the good ship Saville floating. He became the star player on our two-man team, simultaneously keeping our ship afloat while holding onto me to keep me from abandoning ship. He spent countless days putting in a full day at work and then coming home and preparing dinner, doing dishes alone, getting kids ready for bed and then getting them in bed all by himself. His enthusiasm and excitement for this new little guy fueled my depleted self and kept me going. It's been so fun being on the front lines of his fatherhood journey--from the insecurity and terror he felt when I was expecting Michael to the longing he had for getting Rachel here and to the absolute excitement and optimism he felt about this last one. I feel like while my strength for this kid thing has lessened over the years, his has increased. I'm so blessed to have him, and this pregnancy reminded me just how blessed I really am.

The Bad:
My back was horrible for almost the entire pregnancy, and when miraculously, it eased up during the last few months, I was huge and uncomfortable and experiencing the normal third-trimester miserableness. Oh, and my hip started acting up more because I was more active.

I was also tired ALL THE TIME. I rarely had energy, and when I did, I tended to use it up in a hurry, which wiped me out for several days after. This was really hard for me. I hated not being able to help Brian paint our basement, I've missed being able to refinish something. I hated watching everyone working in the kitchen at family get-togethers while I sat on the couch and did nothing. I didn't want to be a useless pregnant woman, but I feel like that's what I was. My poor kids got really good at scrounging for food, and we learned to live in a messy house and be okay with it--well, mostly okay with it. We constantly reminded ourselves that growing a baby was important work, and if that's all I accomplished each day, it was enough.

The Ugly:
Pregnancy is a 9 month trip on a crazy train through crazy town. And for some reason, when I'm carrying a boy, it's even crazier. I had to resist the urge to flip people off when I was expecting Michael, and I think I've sworn more with this last pregnancy than the 30 years leading up to it. And I didn't even feel guilty about all that swearing. I still kind of don't. My fuse was incredibly short, and I hated how angry I could get, how often it happened, and how hard it was to get it to go away. I've always tried to be a happy person, but all this anger led to a little depression, and Brian had to constantly remind me that I could do this (and occasionally send me to my room for long time-outs). I would look at my kids, especially in those sweet moments where they are so adorable and embodying everything that is wonderful about children, and remember that they are worth all the ugly struggles.

Final Weeks as a Family of Four

The first two weeks of April were some of the longest of my life, and, somehow, at the same time, they flew by. We started April off by going on a date to go see Saturday's Warrior (the movie). It was opening night, and when we got to the theater, someone was out front playing the songs on his guitar. I grew up watching the 1989 Film, and despite the cheesiness, I love it. I was worried that I might be disappointed with this movie version, so I tried to keep my expectations low.  But I was really excited and may or may not have watched the various trailers every day with Rachel. It did not disappoint (aside from the opening scene where they wrote a new song, I think, specifically for Alex Boye that had a decidedly Alex Boye feel and not a Saturday's Warrior vibe, but one that was over, the rest of the movie was awesome).  When we left the theater, three cast members were there, as well as the guy with the guitar and a few other people who helped out with the movie. Everyone was singing along with the songs from the guitar guy, and it was pretty fun. And even though we felt silly, we got a picture with the actors that played Elder Kesler, Todd, and Julie. (Todd was awesome! I had high expectations for him, and he didn't let me down.) Can't wait for the DVD to come out. 

The drywall guys finished up the last of the drywall in our basement. YAY!! Whenever the guys would come, Rachel would say, "Oh that's Drywall? I LOVE him so much!"

 Our balloons from the party slowly made their way to the ceiling, somehow perfectly spaced. (Side note, it's been over a month and one of them is still up there!)

 Since my lap was unavailable due to a large belly, Brian had to be the designated lap.

 One day, Rachel just curled up on the floor and went to sleep while I was working in the office. Poor girl! Since the room move, she doens't sleep as much as she used to because Michael wakes her up.

 And Rachel's pinky finger got an infection, and I felt so bad that I didn't notice that it was even heading that direction. It's hard having a pregnant mommy!

 Lea has been so awesome through this whole pregnancy. Next to Brian, she's put up with my orneriness, tears, tiredness, and everything in between. During spring break, she offered to take my kids to the Children's Museum to let me rest. I was going a little stir crazy, so I said that I would come too, and she said she would chase the kids so I could just sit and watch. It was such a beautiful day, and it was so nice to get out of the house to enjoy it! And, Lea chased the kids. She's so awesome!

 Later that night, I did a senior photo session for my neighbor and friend's daughter. We went down to BYU campus, and everything was in bloom and it was amazing! We went all over campus because there were so many great spots for photos. We went until the sun was gone (because we were all having so much fun). The pictures turned out so fabulously, and when I got home, Brian said it was the happiest that he had seen me since I got pregnant. I think he was right. It was a really good day.

And now for some random moments:

Rachel after a bath:

 Rachel conking out on the couch:

 Michael reading the Illustrated Stories from the Old Testament. He would spend HOURS reading these books. We love it!

 Brian primed our new walls:

  

 And for the Savilles out there, I found this in the bathroom one day. Apparently they didn't get Julie's memo about not shredding the toilet paper into little bits.

 One day, Michael made a grass Mohawk for his bike helmet. It made us laugh.

 My big belly and subsequent lap reduction was hard on Rachel. So, we had to find creative ways for her to snuggle with me, and remind her not to dig her elbows into my belly when she was done. Which, meant we needed to take a selfie or two:

 These two continued to crack us up with their antics. They mostly play well together and get along.

 I extended this little jumper for Rachel by adding pink ruffle to the bottom:

 The princesses had a party on Brian's pillow:

 The day before I was supposed to be induced, Lea and I went to go get pedicures. This was the one thing I REALLY wanted to do before the baby came, so I was happy that Lea could go with me, especially since I only asked her to go the day before. I didn't get a picture of us together. When I got home, Rachel immediately noticed my toes, "You got pink toes? They're so Bootiful!" So, I asked her if we should paint her toes too. She was really excited, so I told her that I would paint them after dinner and after her bath. She reminded me about my promise several times, and as soon as she was dressed after her bath, she came running to me, "Now can I paint toes?" I painted her toes pink and even painted a little flower on her big toenails. She was over the moon. I foresee mother/daughter pedicures in our future.

 And here's our last official picture as a family of four:

Baby Shower!

I have middle child syndrome. I know it. Brian knows it. That's why even though I didn't want or need a baby shower, the middle-child aspects of myself could not stand the thought that our baby wouldn't get a shower just for him when his two older siblings got baby showers. How then to satisfy this need for a shower when I knew it was a little ridiculous to have another one when I had everything I needed for this baby? I gave it some thought and decided it would be fun to have one with our little family, and we would just do a couple of little projects for our baby. So, I made an invitation, printed two copies, stuffed them into envelopes, addressed them to Michael and Rachel, and then delivered them:

 Michael was a little confused as to why I would invite him to a party at our own house, but that's okay. It was for Gabe.

We decided to have the party in between sessions of General Conference. Brian and I picked up balloons the night before, as well as some party favors to surprise the kids with. I made cupcakes and we had Mac & Cheese with apples for lunch. (And since it was a Saturday, Brian was down working in the basement, hence the work clothes).

 For one of our projects, we made a bookend to hold up all our board books. The kids and I had done some preliminary painting the day before,

but Michael added some stripes to the end stands,

We found this truck at the Wood Connection, and Brian cut it in half so that we could make it into bookends. Rachel and Michael painted the main colors, and I did touch up and a little detail work. Brian screwed the truck to the bookend boards (he also made the bookend boards). I love how it turned out:

 And it put the finishing touch on the baby's room. All set for some rocking and reading to our new little guy.

 After the bookends, we started on decorating some onesies. I had several fabrics to choose from and printed out 4 designs for the kids to do. They each picked a fabric and a design to make.

I manned the iron

  I let Michael cut his design out.

 Brian helped Rachel cut hers

 Ta Dah! Rachel picked the tie and the "scary owls"

 Michael did a whale cut out on whale fabric.

 Next, we let the kids open some presents that our neighbors were kind enough to give us. (I've been surprised how many people have given us things, even though I didn't have a shower).

The kids each got a little box full of glow in the dark as a thank you favor for coming to the baby shower. We ended just in time for the afternoon session of General Conference. I love how this shower turned out. We got to spend some good time as a family, and my middle-child syndrome is satisfied.

March

March dragged and flew by at the same time. We started March preparing for Piano Festival. I stressed and worried about this one. Festival was the biggest motivation for me as a young pianist, and I wanted to give my students the same opportunity. And because Lea's students are all clarinetists except for Michael, I signed Michael up for festival with my students. I had to judge, which made me feel extremely inadequate, but I think I did okay. Michael got to play at the same venue that I was judging at, so I got to hear him. He did good, messed up a little, but everyone was so impressed that he was only in kindergarten. 

 Michael went through a crazy ninja/bandanna phase in March. Not sure why. Kind of drove me crazy because the bandannas kept getting left everywhere.

 My mom got me this unicorn for Valentine's Day. Rachel thinks that it is hers. She loves playing on it.

 And Michael loves photobombing. That and trying to convince Rachel that it is really my unicorn.

 Rachel has been needing lots of snuggle time, and we can often get her to fall asleep on our laps. Since starting sharing a room with Michael, I think she's been getting less sleep than before, but she's out of the habit of taking a nap.  

 It's also hard because I'm running out of room on my lap. Good thing Daddy still has room:

 Rachel really loves books and she constantly wants us to read them to her. It's nice that Michael can help read to her as well, but he usually doesn't. He would rather read on his own. He usually reads a chapter book a day.  

 One day, Rachel decided that I needed to wear my gray sweater so that I would match her in her gray dress. She picked it out of my closet and told me to wear it. And so we did matching hair too--like Belle this time:

 Remember how I said that she needs extra snuggles and naps. I was about to move when I realized she had crashed, so I was stuck for an hour in a really uncomfortable position, but it was totally worth it. The baby kept kicking though, and I was worried he'd wake her up. Instead, her other brother woke her up. We tried to keep him quiet, telling him that Rachel was asleep. He walked right over by me and practically shouted a question. That woke her right up.

 But, she was pretty happy:

 and charming and sweet as ever.

 Not sure what this picture is about.

 Or this one:

 Rachel snuck up onto Michael's bed once:

I helped throw a baby shower for my friend Kirsten. She's having a baby boy a month after me. She didn't think she'd be able to have one of her own, so it's been pretty awesome. 

 I wanted to have it at my house, but my co-host said that since I was pregnant, she should host it so I wouldn't have to wear myself out cleaning my house. I was grateful for her wisdom. I could never have had enough energy to get my house shower ready.

 I sent Michael up for my phone one day. When he finally brought it to me, there were about 50 new pictures (not an exaggeration). Here are the best selfies that Michael took:

On March 22, we got our fireplace installed downstairs. We're pretty excited about it! 

 Morning snuggles with Rachel:

 March also brought on even more of that nesting urge. With the help of my visiting teacher, I went through the boy clothes and washed all the 0-3 month clothes and put them in the baby's dresser. I organized his closet, got his bedding all ready, and I finally recovered this rocking chair for the nursery. We bought this off KSL when I was pregnant with Michael. It was in rough shape, but we were so poor and so happy to just have a rocking chair. After 6 and a half years of looking shabby and being uncomfortable, I finally just went ahead and re-did it. I bought a camping foam mattress from Home Depot for $20, and some fabric and thinner foam from Joann's. It was actually pretty easy and I'm wondering why it took me so long to do it.

 Here's what it looked like before:

Notice the sagging back cushion? It looks SO much better now, right?

Here's the wall Kirt helped Brian frame out right before Easter. We had scheduled our drywall guys to come on March 30, so we were rushing to get everything ready for city inspections on Monday, March 28, and Tuesday, March 29.  

 Monday night (the 28th), we hung insulation as soon as the kids went to bed. Brian ended up having to do a lot of the work. I wore out quickly, and my big belly made it hard to do the lower stapling.

 On Tuesday night, we brought in the cavalry--our neighbors Scott and Sally, as well as Brian Watson--to help us move furniture out of the way in preparation for the drywallers to come the next morning. It was a little stressful trying to be ready, and Brian and I both felt like it was finals' week all over again. But we made it! Both inspections passed, which means we only have our final inspection left for all our rooms in the basement. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is HUGE! It's been so many little--and big things--getting us to this point.

 And the next morning, we found out that not only was our drywall guy not going to be there that day, but he had completely canceled our job, saying he just didn't have the time. We were both FURIOUS! Thankfully, he referred us to a friend who could take over almost immediately. We just had to wait a couple more days before his crew could start. I'm still a little perturbed that the one guy just dropped us like that. The contracting world is a strange one. I'll be glad when we're done with it. At least for a while.

March also brought us more moments like this:

We love our little family so much, and we're excited to be welcoming a new member in April!