Mother of a Daughter

Three things. 

1- Just after Rachel was born, the doctor put her on my belly for about thirty seconds. Then, they took her, cleaned her up, and decided that she needed to undergo a few tests due to her quick and slightly dramatic birth. Just before taking her to the nursery, they brought her back to my side to let me see her again. All I could think of was, "Oh no, she looks just like me." Now before the pep talks and reassurances about my beauty start, let me explain. Like nearly all women, I have TONS of insecurities about my appearance, and my personality flaws. Mostly, I'm pretty confident, but there are a few things I struggle with. Like my skin that refuses to tan. Like my thighs that will always be big, no matter how many pounds I shed. And I realized that, more than likely, my beautiful daughter just inherited all the things that I don't like about myself. And I have to get over my insecurities or she'll inherit those as well. Kind of scary. 

2-About a month ago or more, I had Rachel on my lap, facing me, and she started having a cute little conversation with me. I encouraged her to tell me more, and she obliged, filling me in with coos and gurgles. And as I was basking in that blissful moment, my mind hit fast forward, and I saw the two of us, years later, engaged in a deep conversation. She was in high school, and she was seeking advice, just like I did with my mom, and she expected me to have it. Present-day-me started to freak out a little bit. How would I ever know enough? How can I ever be wise enough? How can I ever be to her what my mom is to me? 

3-I'm nervous about raising a girl in a world that is getting progressively less moral. My hope lies in the belief that the Lord would send His precious children here now without arming them with the necessary tools. The fact that one of those tools is me makes me a little bit nervous. I guess He armed me for this as well, right?

I had a conversation with my grandma while she was working on Rachel's blessing dress. She had a boy first, and then a girl--my mom. (She had five other kids after my mom, fyi). She said that while she loved her boy, there was just a special feeling with a girl. She said that maybe it was because she had empathy for her, knowing all the things that she would have to go through in her life. I have to agree with her on that one. While we love, love, LOVE our Michael, there is just something special about this girl of ours. So special that it kind of freaks me out that I'm her mom. 

Mostly, though, I'm just enjoying the hairbands, bows, ribbons, frills, dresses, accessories, and joys of having a little girl around the house. 

Just Life

I call up an old friend on the phone--you know, the one I love TONS but don't talk to nearly enough. She asks me what's been going on with me. And for the life of me, I can't think of anything. Surely things are happening everyday, but I can't think of anything exciting to tell my friend. I mean, I only have a few minutes, surely this phone call merits something spectacular. So I say, "Well, lots of things are going on, but they're pretty boring. But we're doing great!" Here's some bits of the boring stuff, as well as some not so boring stuff that's been going on around our house: 

April 26: Michael, Rachel, and I attended our first tulip festival at Thanksgiving Point with Lea, Danny, and Skyler. The weather was beautiful. My arms and neck got really sunburned, and Rachel got her first sunburn ever--on the top of her little hand. 

 Michael slipped while I was taking pictures of him and Danny here. Thankfully, he caught himself. I was so grateful! He got a nice scrape on his chin, but other than that, he was okay. It still kind of scares me that he fell, and I can still see him holding on for dear life and crying. 

 I finally finished Rachel's Easter dress. Yup, that's right. A month after Easter. The day before we went to Idaho, I still hadn't put in a single stitch (although it was cut out), and Rachel was sad from her two month shots. So, with sad Rachel wanting to be held, I called up Brian and had him pick up a dress from Target for her Easter dress. I hate to admit it, but the one he picked out was much cuter than the one I made. Oh well. Here's to the first dress I made for my daughter!

 We do lots of baths around here. I remember back when Michael was a baby thinking, "I am giving him SO many baths, and he'll never really understand all I do for him!" And then it hit me, "Yeah, your mom did this for you." So, with each bath for Rachel and Michael, I'm slowly paying it forward all that my mom did for me. And that barely scratches the surface.

 A month and a half ago, we bought wood, had it cut at Home Depot so it would fit in our two cars, along with us and our two kids, and hauled it home. We were quite pleased that we didn't have to beg a neighbor for use of a truck. Well, on April 29, we finally got them in. (Huge applause for Brian, please).

 Since most of our things are in these 18 gallon totes, Brian made the shelves to accommodate 24! Yay!

We plan to have shelves like these all the way around the room, but for now, we're happy to have our stuff off the floor! The whole room looked like this before:

And now only one corner looks like that. The other stuff looks like this: 

 Rachel has started to get bored with her bouncer and is starting to discover toys! It's exciting. She still has a long way to go, but she's loving this floor mat that Chelsea gave her: 

 On Saturday, May 4, we made a quick trip to Logan to be there for Taryn's Convocation for the College of Science at Utah State University. We opted to miss Commencement because of the kiddos, but it was very exciting to watch my lil' sis graduate.

 Congrats, Shortstop!

 And of course, that meant Michael and Rachel got to see their Chadwick grandparents and Linville Great-grandparents!

 And of course, we had to get a picture of them on the A. They are true Aggies, afterall.

 On Monday (May 6),  I had left Rachel on her mat playing in the other room. It was quiet, so I headed in to see if she had fallen asleep. I found her like this:

 quietly content, carefully tucked under a quilt by her big brother. Notice that it is his favorite "blue" blanket. He won't ever share that quilt with me, or anyone. Just his sister. That's love, folks.

And yesterday, the two of them were playing on the floor in the living room. I heard Michael say, "I'll be right back." He headed into her room and found our little camera that I had stashed on top of her dresser. He came back with it and started taking pictures of her, laughing the whole time. Then he tried putting a bracelet on her.

 And Rachel is also loving the jumper. Here's a picture from today. 

That's what's going on. Some projects. Some graduations. Some smiles. Lots and lots of love.

Bowling

We had buy one get one free coupons for Jack and Jill's Bowling, so we decided to take Michael and have a fun family night out on the Friday after Brian got back from Belarus (April 19). It was one of those situations where I am reminded that Michael really is just a little guy. He seems so big when it's just the four of us at home.

First of all, can I just say that bowling shoes that small are adorable? He was the cutest thing in them! We found the smallest ball they had--a 6 pounder--and made sure to put the bumpers up for him.

 And showed him how to use the little ramp thing:

About halfway through the first game, I was getting my trash kicked. The husband was understandable; the three-year-old was unacceptable. I did what any self-respecting mom would do. I put bumpers up as well. And he was still beating me. I'd like to say it was because he used that ramp, but the truth is that he saw other kids bowling without the ramp, and so half the time, he just took his ball to the line and dropped it. Check it out (you may want to watch these full screen):

And the second bowl of that frame:

Yeah, a spare on a split. No big deal. 

 This is the scores from the first game. The first M is Michael, I'm the second "M", and Brian is "D". Check out Brian's last frame. Amazing! Do you notice all the spares from Michael? Yeah, that was only the first game. I should have just taken a nap like Rachel:

 I made Brian model for a picture. The advantage of being the photographer is that there aren't any of me. Hee hee. 

Michael seemed to have a gift for this. I even tried using the ramp for one frame, but when I pushed it down, no luck at all.  Here's the score for the second game. Brian barely pulled ahead of Michael in the last frame. Yeah, the LAST frame. He was beating us the entire second game. Check out all those spares.  

My consolation is that at least I got a couple of strikes. Michael never got one of those. Then again, he's three.

Michael and the Dentist

I was looking through my phone last night, and I came across a bunch of pictures that I had forgotten about. Among them were pictures I took of Michael at the dentist. I meant to blog about it, but I only remember what we do based on the pictures I take. So, since these were taken on my phone, I forgot to blog about them until I found them last night. Make any sense? 

So back in September, Michael had his first dentist appointment--ever. We followed Lea's recommendation for a pediatric dentist in Lehi, Dr. Pearson (easy for me to remember since my dentist growing up was also a Dr. Pearson.) Everyone oohed and ah-ed and praised my then-two-year-old for being so brave and so good.  He came home loaded up with stickers and brushing his teeth became a favorite thing to do. 

Six months later, it was time to go back. Michael was excited. We went, got there a little late, and ended up waiting to see the dentist for 2.5 hours! I was getting upset, feeling quite bored, worrying about my newborn and things that needed to be done when the dentist finally came in. He explained that he keeps his office small so that he can take the time each kid needs. He said he had a girls that was really nervous about the procedure he was going to perform, and he took his time with her until she was comfortable. He then gave me a $25 credit towards the next visit, which turned out to be a good thing since he found two little cavities in Michael's mouth! I felt bad for not being more diligent in making sure Michael had good brushing habits, and the good dentist assured me that cavities weren't a punishment for me or for Michael. Then we talked about getting them filled.

Dr. Pearson said that normally he would have a kid Michael's age come into the surgical center and be completely sedated to fill cavities, but he said that Michael was an exceptional three-year-old who was still let the dentist examine his teeth after waiting for 2.5 hours in the exam room in the middle of the afternoon. He said that we could probably just bring Michael in and put him on laughing gas while Dr. Pearson filled the two eye-teeth cavities. . He would also do more x-rays of his back teeth while he was on laughing gas to see if more work needed to be done. Dr. P said that he would only recommend this to about 1 in 30 kids Michael's age. (That sure did a lot to stroke my ego as a mom!) We decided to try it. 

On March 19, we headed back for the fillings. Following Dr. Pearson's advice, I only talked about the good things, never mentioning that the day might be painful or uncomfortable. Dr. Pearson was very clear--make sure he only thinks positive things about going to the dentist. But I did have him bring Monkey and his favorite "blue blanket" just in case, telling him that Monkey was super jealous that he didn't get to go last time. 

We got there, and the assistants let Michael pick a movie--Cars, of course--and then they put him on laughing gas. It was pretty sad to see my little baby on that tube! I forget how small he is until we put him in a world that is very much bigger than he is. 

 The did x-rays--no other cavities!--and gave him a little sticky hand-type toy for being so good.

The picture cut it off, but notice how his right arm is completely limp. When the dentist was filling his teeth, Michael kept holding up his sticky toy and saying in a slurred voice, "Look what I got." It was really funny and a little bit horrible at the same time. Michael handled the whole thing like a champ. He didn't cry, and he had no idea that he just underwent a terrible procedure.

 Dr. Pearson gave him a stuffed Lion for being so good after he was finished. Michael also got a couple of stickers, two prizes from the treasure box, and a Popsicle!

Here's Michael modeling his loot! Let's just say, around here, there's a reason our kids love the dentist. Thanks for the recommendation Lea! And good job, Michael! Thanks for being such an awesome kid!

How Michael Sees the World, Part 2

In preparation for Rachel's arrival, we tried to think of things to do for Michael so that he wouldn't feel left out or ignored and to help him adjust to not being an only child anymore. We bought him a book that was all about the new baby. We bought a couple of books that were on sale as well as new coloring paint pens and letter cards "from Rachel". Brian also took him to the store to pick out a gift for his new sister. I helped Michael pack a bag with coloring books and toys for him to have at the hospital. We also let him use our little camera to take pictures of his little sis. (We may have gone overboard, but he'd been an only child for over three years, fairly newly potty-trained, and I was worried). Well, I forgot about that camera until Brian took it to Minsk and then loaded the pictures from the camera onto our computer when he got back. I started looking through his Minsk pictures and was surprised to find all these pictures from Michael. It made me laugh, and I thought I would share a few. 

 Michael's gifts from his sis

 One of the movies he picked to watch. I'm not sure where I was for most of this movie. Maybe taking a shower?

 We got tons of feet pictures

 Obviously he didn't take this one, but I'm including it because it is an awesome one of my feet. I had very little swelling while I was pregnant, but after having Rachel, my feet totally ballooned up! They got pretty bad during the days we spent feeding Rachel while she was in the NICU. I was so worried that they would never go back to normal! They stayed this way for about a week. Eck!

 Rachel ended up in the NICU for low blood sugar (she wanted to sleep, not eat), and so she ended up staying an extra day in the hospital. I had to check out after twenty-four hours, so the nurses kindly found us a room in the pediatric ward--the only one available--for boarding so that we wouldn't have to drive from Saratoga Springs every two hours for feeding. It was such a blessing, even though they were worried about RSV exposure. Thankfully, that was the night my parents arrived, so they took care of Michael so we could take care of Rachel. They bought Michael these awesome "construction" pajamas. They are his favorites. It will be a sad day when he grows out of them.  

 Michael took lots of pictures of his Grandpa, one of his favorite people in the world! Dad was really good about taking Michael on trips to DI (where he could pick out a toy) and the Lehi bakery (where he could get a donut). Dad helped Michael feel important so that we could figure out Rachel.

 And Michael has loved Rachel from the beginning.  

 A picture of Brian getting ready to go back to work. I might be crying. No, I wasn't, but I might have been closer than we'd all like. Even though this is a not a very clear picture, it kind of made me happy that Michael took it. 

This is only one of SEVERAL photos that he took of his cars. He loves his cars. 

Ten Days in Idaho!

Earlier this year, Brian told me that his work might send him to Portland for a conference in April. Then, around the beginning of March or end of February, Brian called me up from work and said, "So, instead of sending me to Portland, they might send me to Belarus."

"Belarus? As in..." I replied.

"The country. Yes."

"For how long?"

"About a week."

"Where is that again?"

"By Ukraine." Oh, right.

That's how it began. I decided with him gone, it would be a good opportunity to spend some time with my parents. I'm proud to say that it wasn't an oh-no-my-husband-is-going-to-be-gone-and-I-don't-want-to-be-alone kind of thing. It just seemed like a good opportunity. That being said, I was really glad to be around two other adults to help be a buffer between me and my 3 year old and my then two-month old.

First of all, can I just say that getting Brian's papers ready to go to Europe was a mess. In order to go to Belarus, you need a visa. You can't get a visa until you get a passport. You can't get a passport unless you have your birth certificate. We couldn't find his birth certificate, so we had to order a new one. Brian used a company that would expedite it, which cost three times as much to have done than getting it through the health department. And they weren't fast. We ordered Rachel's the same day using the state service and hers arrived three or four days before Brian's. Turns out he could have just gone to the health department in Provo and had a copy made in the same day. Oh well, you live and learn, right?

So after the birth certificate mess--which we all just laughed off--there was the issue with a passport. He sent in his passport application and paid to have it expedited. It wasn't being fast enough, so after talking with the state department, it was decided that Brian needed to fly to San Francisco to the agency there and get his passport. He explained why he was applying for a passport twice within a week or so, and got his passport that same day. After that, the visa wasn't a problem. So, a recap: expedited birth certificate, passport with expedited services, and a round trip plane ticket to San Francisco. Thank you, Adaptive Computing, for paying for the most expensive passport in history! Live and learn, right?

A shuttle picked Brian up on the morning of April 4 and took him to the airport. A few hours later, we finally made it out the door. I guess I didn't realize how much Brian helps whenever we take a trip. It took me forever to pack our car! Anyway, we finally got going, and Rachel slept most of the way, so I was able to make it all the way to Ririe without stopping, which was awesome!

As for the visit, it was fairly uneventful. I had visions of hiking, some outdoor photo shoots, and things like that, but the weather was not very cooperative. I expected it to be chilly--it was Idaho in April, after-all. And I expected it to be windy--we were in Idaho after all. But the 75 mph winds took me a little by surprise. Looking back, I realize it shouldn't. Long story short, we didn't go on any hikes, and I didn't take many pictures.

But we watched General Conference with my parents:

and took videos to send to Brian:

Rachel got some good bonding time with her grandparents. She hit a growth spurt while we were there, and really started talking and cooing, and they were there to see it and notice. My mom had her pretty much figured out by the time we left. Rachel was such a champ during the trip! 

 I visited my dear friend Julie, and Michael found a willing explorer in Mike while Julie and I chatted it up:

 I wish I had taken a picture of Michael dragging Mike across their yard. Whenever Mike would come back inside, after about five minutes, Michael would say, "Let's go back outside."

I just love Julie. I drove back to my parents house smiling. 

On Saturday, April 13, I threw a baby shower for Taryn. Our theme was a Mustache Bash. We had a lunch of chicken salad sandwiches, spinach-strawberry salad, and fresh fruit. Here's the spread:

 I tried to incorporate mustaches into whatever I could, and since Taryn LOVES milk, I came up with the sign to tie the two together:

 Our family friend, Peggy, and Taryn:

 I made candy mustache suckers for everyone. I made them all pose for pictures:

 Kendra, Taryn, and Grandma rockin' the 'stache

 Rachel

 Cydnee and Tiffani with Peggy

 Cindy, Tracy, and LaRenda

 Aunt Trina and Mom

 And since I made them pose, they made me pose. 

 Amber just wanted to eat hers.

 The only game we played was a gift bingo game where you fill in the squares with what you think people gave Taryn. They did this at my neighbor's baby shower, and I thought it made the gift opening segment of the shower less awkward. After the gifts, I gave everyone a little favors box filled with thank-you candies and candy-dipped Oreos. The treats were super easy to make but looked so fancy. Taryn and David helped me put the boxes together and Chelsea helped me put the tags on. 

I thought they turned out cute. 

After the shower, the kids got to eat the leftover mustaches, but not before I made them pose for the camera:

 Matthew

 Heather

 Michael 

My Uncle Rick happened to be visiting, so he posed too

 Poor Sarah wasn't feeling well, but I did get her to pose with her mustache after the Motrin kicked in a little bit.

Who has the best mustache?

After church and dinner, David helped me load my car (so nice and helpful!) and we caravan-ed with Taryn and David until they had to turn off to go to Logan. We enjoyed our time in Idaho, but we were all ready to head home, especially Michael who was really missing his dad by then. We picked up a very tired Brian at the airport on our way home. It was so nice to have our family back together! 

If you ever take your spouse for granted, just send him to Belarus for ten days where your only form of communication is Skype over a lousy internet connection or email. It worked for us.  I never realized just how much I count on Brian everyday. He's so great about helping get the kids in bed. It was kind of tough without one of the star players on Team Saville. We were all so glad to be back together!