Gabriel is Here!

As awful as this last pregnancy was, it should have come as no surprise that there would be one final frustrating, angry day before his wonderful arrival. 

Back in January or February, my doctor asked me if I wanted to schedule an induction. I liked how it went with Rachel, so I said, "Yeah, let's do it!" She pulled out her calendar and suggested two dates-- April 14th (when I would be exactly at 39 weeks) or one on April 21 (right at 40 weeks). I asked her what she thought, and she said, "If it were me, I'd go for the 14th." So, I went for the 14th. I was so excited to have an end date set, even though I had this thought that it probably wouldn't happen on that date.  I called Brian to let him know, and he seemed a little panicked about it. "Isn't that kind of early?" And then I told him about what the doctor said, and he was fine. But, based on comments that I got when I mentioned Rachel's induction 3 years ago, I decided I only let people know this information on a need to know basis. I don't like it when people second-guess my decisions (especially when I'm riding the Crazy Train). 

Time, as it often does during hard times, dragged on and somehow flew by at the same time. April 13th arrived. I'd been having weak-sauce contractions on and off (mostly off) for about 2 weeks by this point, and based on where I was at the doctor's visit the day before, I was feeling pretty confident and excited about my induction the next day. I made my final preparations, and Brian loaded the car with all our stuff. Lea was set to race over to our house the second we got the call from the doctor the next day. I went to bed and struggled to sleep due to worry and excitement. I may have gotten 2 hours of sleep. I finally gave up the fight at 6:30 and headed into the living room to read. Michael and Rachel got up shortly thereafter and I snuggled with them in the rocking chair, breathing in what I thought were the final hours of being a family of four. 

And I waited. And waited. And waited for the call from the hospital. At 11:30, I called the hospital (since that was the instruction if I didn't hear from them before then). I found out that they were really full and that a nurse would call me back in a little bit with more information. My hopes started to deflate, but refused to completely sink until the nurse finally called back. She began by apologizing and then telling me that they were not going to be able to do my induction that day. She said that they could either put me first on the list for the next day, in which case a different doctor would oversee me (not my regular one that I loved and patiently/anxiously counted the days for her to get back in town when she left for spring break), or wait until the next Tuesday (this was a Thursday). She said I could call her back with my decision. 

Long story shorter, I cried. I yelled. I was livid; I was so sad. I felt like both choices were bad, and I was so so so so so so soooooooo upset. I spent the rest of the day in my room because I just couldn't deal with it all anymore. I was so exhausted already. I knew that my tired body and mind simply could not wait until Tuesday, especially since I would have to re-figure out what to do with my kids and re-work every possible scenario to any and all arrangements. Our bags were already loaded. Our kids' backpacks were ready. And if I could have hand-picked which date my son's birthday would be, April 15th would have been it. So, I had Brian call the hospital and put us on the list for Friday. This time, they gave us a specific time to be there: 7 a.m.. Brian also handled communication for the rest of the day with all the people who were expecting us to be at the hospital (AKA, our parents, Lea, Chelsea, and probably others I don't remember about) and made sure everything was set with Lea and his mom for the next day. I just could not handle it. I finally texted my mom at one point, but ignored everything and everyone else. 

I was still pretty upset the next morning when we headed out the door. Brian turned on the radio and started making his way through the presets to find a good song. One station was playing Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It." We couldn't help it; we started laughing. (Anyone who's seen the episode of Chuck where Ellie has her baby will think this is even funnier.) It helped ease most of my grouchiness. 

We got to the hospital, they got me started on an IV, and then I met Dr. Thomas. He was a nice fellow, and with that meeting, my remaining orneriness went away. He ended up being really great, and I had the best delivery experience I've ever had. I got hooked up to Oxytocin at around 8 a.m., and then the anesthesiologist gave me my epidural around 9. And I tried to take a nap, and I think I did sleep a little. And we waited. We channel surfed. We made small talk with our nurse, Jenna, who was pretty awesome, even though she was a little inexperienced. The doctor broke my water--well, punctured it anyway. It was a fairly uneventful 4 or 5 hours.

Then, around 2 p.m., the nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 4. She started typing that and my vitals into the computer and I started feeling kind of yucky. I told her, "I think things must be really progressing because I feel like I want to throw up." (side note: I don't throw up very often, and I hadn't thrown up once the entire pregnancy.) 

Brian piped in: "Yeah, we should probably get some throw up bags because when she was in labor with our 6-year-old, she needed to throw up, and no one had given us any bags, and no one was around and she threw up all over herself." 

"Yeah," I agreed, "you should probably give me a bag. Like right now."

She gave me a bag, I immediately threw up. 

When I was done, she checked me again. I was at a 6, And I had this uncomfortable spot in my back. So, Brian and Jenna tried to help me find a better position, but nothing seemed to help. I started to feel more uncomfortable. Brian figured out that that uncomfortable spot was probably a contraction, and sure enough, I only felt it during a contraction. 

I decided that because I had had such a horrible pregnancy, and because I was super tired,  I wasn't going to be in pain for this delivery. So, I pushed my epidural button, waited 15 minutes and then pushed it again. And then I pushed it one more time as I quickly went from a 6 to a 10 and then could feel our baby trying to make his way out. They got the doctor in, got set up while I looked at the clock and felt our baby trying to come without me doing any pushing. Dr. Thomas said it was good that he was doing that. Finally, we were ready. Dr. Thomas had this thing down to a science, and instructed the nurse and Brian how to help me push our little guy out. I pushed through 2 contractions, and our Gabriel was in the world. It was 3:45 p.m.

He was covered in what looked like lard, and he refused to cry. Brian cut his cord, and I looked at him while they wiped him off, sucked junk out of his mouth, and finally coaxed a little squawk out of him. He was purply, but perfect. 

They cleaned him up, and while he looked mad, he barely made a sound. He had Apgar scores of 8 and 9. Everything was great. He weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces and measured 19 inches.

And, amazingly, for the first time ever, they didn't need to send our baby to the NICU for more tests and observations. Once they got him cleaned up, and diapered, and capped, they passed him back to me for a little skin-to-skin cuddling. Brian and I were a little lost. We kept saying, "Wow, so this is what is supposed to happen."

Gabriel was perfect in every way. He reminded us both so much of his siblings. We couldn't stop smiling.

They kept me in labor and delivery for two hours, and then they took us down to our room in Mother/Baby. Not too long after we got settled in, Julie came with Michael and Rachel. They were so excited. Rachel kept saying, "Baby Gabe is not in your belly?" 

Michael was completely head over heels for his new brother from the get-go. I love this picture that Brian took of my two sons:

Rachel was so excited to hold her baby brother too. In fact, when her Nana asked if she could hold him, Rachel said, "No!"

  Lea came too, but I had forgotten to tell her that only my kids would be allowed in the unit, and so she had brought Skyler with her. She patiently waited until Julie could go switch her. 

Lea immediately stepped into her role as our family photographer and took lots of pictures. Here we are, an official family of five:

Michael could not get enough of his brother.

Lea had watched the kids during the day, taking Rachel with her on Skyler's preschool field trip. My neighbor and friend, Berta, kept Michael after school until Lea was finished with the field trip. After the hospital visit, Julie took them to her house for the night, and it sounds like she spoiled them. She took them to McDonald's for lunch the next day and let them play and play in the play place. Brian met Julie after that and took the kids out to pick out presents for Gabe:

And Gabe gave Rachel and Michael presents too, isn't he so awesome?

My parents came down from Idaho to stay a week and help out.

They took Michael and Rachel home to our house and watched them until we came home the next afternoon.

Meanwhile, Brian and I got a little obsessed with our third-born. He was so sweet and so good. He didn't really cry. When he was really upset, he'd let out this little squawk that reminded me of a bear cub growl, and we'd immediately rush over to see what was distressing our easy-going boy.

We played some trivial pursuit, held Gabe, talked, napped, had a visit from our Church's hospital representatives (I'm not sure if they're considered missionaries or not) on Sunday morning, and they brought us the sacrament. By then, we were getting a little stir crazy. The hospital beds are NOT very comfortable. We started packing up. Julie was picking Kirt up from the airport, and we waited for them to make their way back down so Kirt could meet his new grandson. While we waited for them to get there, Brian loaded somethings in the car and helped me take some pictures:

We got him dressed, took more pictures

and then Kirt and Julie arrived.

We had a nice  visit with them, and then worked on the final checking out procedures.

 Then, we drove our boy home for the first time in his life. We had a fantastic welcome committee:

And my mom had dinner/late lunch waiting for us. And my neighbor brought a late dinner for us that night.

We went to bed feeling so blessed and so happy to have our family all under one roof. It was worth all the frustration, all the bad, and all the ugly to have this sweet boy join our family.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I'm just going to come out and say it: I really don't like being pregnant. In fact, I could almost jump to the hate word. Yes, I hate being pregnant. It's really not very fun. Especially this last time around. I'm pretty sure that I've already posted about some of the struggles from this pregnancy, but for future reference, I wanted to just make a quick sum-up of this last pregnancy:

First, the good: 
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was really worried about how it would effect my hip, especially since I had finally found doctors that could help me fix it. I worried that the pain I'd been experiencing would increase, and I was worried about the further damage/wear & tear that could happen as a result of growing a baby. The good thing is that my hip didn't really start acting up until the very end. Near the end of my pregnancy, I had this epiphany: all the back pain that I experienced and the constant fatigue kept me basically resting every chance I got and as a result, it probably saved my hip.

There is something almost magical about feeling your baby moving inside of you. It's really the only thing I like about being pregnant. That and no one judges you for eating too much junk.

Also, because of how lousy I felt through this whole thing, I was more upfront with the people around me, especially my friends and family that I see on a regular basis. Even though I'm sure that they were tired of hearing my complaining, especially Lea, they were also really great about stepping up and helping me. I have been completely overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from my friends and neighbors. So many brought dinners--and those dinners were lifesavers. So many watched my kids so I could go to physical therapy and other appointments. Some took my kids just because. Sometimes, we just need to know that people have our backs, and this pregnancy showed me just how many people have mine.

The one who had my back the most was Brian. There are simply not enough words to describe how amazing he has been. We talk about ourselves as a team, and we try to each do our part to keep the good ship Saville floating. He became the star player on our two-man team, simultaneously keeping our ship afloat while holding onto me to keep me from abandoning ship. He spent countless days putting in a full day at work and then coming home and preparing dinner, doing dishes alone, getting kids ready for bed and then getting them in bed all by himself. His enthusiasm and excitement for this new little guy fueled my depleted self and kept me going. It's been so fun being on the front lines of his fatherhood journey--from the insecurity and terror he felt when I was expecting Michael to the longing he had for getting Rachel here and to the absolute excitement and optimism he felt about this last one. I feel like while my strength for this kid thing has lessened over the years, his has increased. I'm so blessed to have him, and this pregnancy reminded me just how blessed I really am.

The Bad:
My back was horrible for almost the entire pregnancy, and when miraculously, it eased up during the last few months, I was huge and uncomfortable and experiencing the normal third-trimester miserableness. Oh, and my hip started acting up more because I was more active.

I was also tired ALL THE TIME. I rarely had energy, and when I did, I tended to use it up in a hurry, which wiped me out for several days after. This was really hard for me. I hated not being able to help Brian paint our basement, I've missed being able to refinish something. I hated watching everyone working in the kitchen at family get-togethers while I sat on the couch and did nothing. I didn't want to be a useless pregnant woman, but I feel like that's what I was. My poor kids got really good at scrounging for food, and we learned to live in a messy house and be okay with it--well, mostly okay with it. We constantly reminded ourselves that growing a baby was important work, and if that's all I accomplished each day, it was enough.

The Ugly:
Pregnancy is a 9 month trip on a crazy train through crazy town. And for some reason, when I'm carrying a boy, it's even crazier. I had to resist the urge to flip people off when I was expecting Michael, and I think I've sworn more with this last pregnancy than the 30 years leading up to it. And I didn't even feel guilty about all that swearing. I still kind of don't. My fuse was incredibly short, and I hated how angry I could get, how often it happened, and how hard it was to get it to go away. I've always tried to be a happy person, but all this anger led to a little depression, and Brian had to constantly remind me that I could do this (and occasionally send me to my room for long time-outs). I would look at my kids, especially in those sweet moments where they are so adorable and embodying everything that is wonderful about children, and remember that they are worth all the ugly struggles.

Final Weeks as a Family of Four

The first two weeks of April were some of the longest of my life, and, somehow, at the same time, they flew by. We started April off by going on a date to go see Saturday's Warrior (the movie). It was opening night, and when we got to the theater, someone was out front playing the songs on his guitar. I grew up watching the 1989 Film, and despite the cheesiness, I love it. I was worried that I might be disappointed with this movie version, so I tried to keep my expectations low.  But I was really excited and may or may not have watched the various trailers every day with Rachel. It did not disappoint (aside from the opening scene where they wrote a new song, I think, specifically for Alex Boye that had a decidedly Alex Boye feel and not a Saturday's Warrior vibe, but one that was over, the rest of the movie was awesome).  When we left the theater, three cast members were there, as well as the guy with the guitar and a few other people who helped out with the movie. Everyone was singing along with the songs from the guitar guy, and it was pretty fun. And even though we felt silly, we got a picture with the actors that played Elder Kesler, Todd, and Julie. (Todd was awesome! I had high expectations for him, and he didn't let me down.) Can't wait for the DVD to come out. 

The drywall guys finished up the last of the drywall in our basement. YAY!! Whenever the guys would come, Rachel would say, "Oh that's Drywall? I LOVE him so much!"

 Our balloons from the party slowly made their way to the ceiling, somehow perfectly spaced. (Side note, it's been over a month and one of them is still up there!)

 Since my lap was unavailable due to a large belly, Brian had to be the designated lap.

 One day, Rachel just curled up on the floor and went to sleep while I was working in the office. Poor girl! Since the room move, she doens't sleep as much as she used to because Michael wakes her up.

 And Rachel's pinky finger got an infection, and I felt so bad that I didn't notice that it was even heading that direction. It's hard having a pregnant mommy!

 Lea has been so awesome through this whole pregnancy. Next to Brian, she's put up with my orneriness, tears, tiredness, and everything in between. During spring break, she offered to take my kids to the Children's Museum to let me rest. I was going a little stir crazy, so I said that I would come too, and she said she would chase the kids so I could just sit and watch. It was such a beautiful day, and it was so nice to get out of the house to enjoy it! And, Lea chased the kids. She's so awesome!

 Later that night, I did a senior photo session for my neighbor and friend's daughter. We went down to BYU campus, and everything was in bloom and it was amazing! We went all over campus because there were so many great spots for photos. We went until the sun was gone (because we were all having so much fun). The pictures turned out so fabulously, and when I got home, Brian said it was the happiest that he had seen me since I got pregnant. I think he was right. It was a really good day.

And now for some random moments:

Rachel after a bath:

 Rachel conking out on the couch:

 Michael reading the Illustrated Stories from the Old Testament. He would spend HOURS reading these books. We love it!

 Brian primed our new walls:

  

 And for the Savilles out there, I found this in the bathroom one day. Apparently they didn't get Julie's memo about not shredding the toilet paper into little bits.

 One day, Michael made a grass Mohawk for his bike helmet. It made us laugh.

 My big belly and subsequent lap reduction was hard on Rachel. So, we had to find creative ways for her to snuggle with me, and remind her not to dig her elbows into my belly when she was done. Which, meant we needed to take a selfie or two:

 These two continued to crack us up with their antics. They mostly play well together and get along.

 I extended this little jumper for Rachel by adding pink ruffle to the bottom:

 The princesses had a party on Brian's pillow:

 The day before I was supposed to be induced, Lea and I went to go get pedicures. This was the one thing I REALLY wanted to do before the baby came, so I was happy that Lea could go with me, especially since I only asked her to go the day before. I didn't get a picture of us together. When I got home, Rachel immediately noticed my toes, "You got pink toes? They're so Bootiful!" So, I asked her if we should paint her toes too. She was really excited, so I told her that I would paint them after dinner and after her bath. She reminded me about my promise several times, and as soon as she was dressed after her bath, she came running to me, "Now can I paint toes?" I painted her toes pink and even painted a little flower on her big toenails. She was over the moon. I foresee mother/daughter pedicures in our future.

 And here's our last official picture as a family of four:

Baby Shower!

I have middle child syndrome. I know it. Brian knows it. That's why even though I didn't want or need a baby shower, the middle-child aspects of myself could not stand the thought that our baby wouldn't get a shower just for him when his two older siblings got baby showers. How then to satisfy this need for a shower when I knew it was a little ridiculous to have another one when I had everything I needed for this baby? I gave it some thought and decided it would be fun to have one with our little family, and we would just do a couple of little projects for our baby. So, I made an invitation, printed two copies, stuffed them into envelopes, addressed them to Michael and Rachel, and then delivered them:

 Michael was a little confused as to why I would invite him to a party at our own house, but that's okay. It was for Gabe.

We decided to have the party in between sessions of General Conference. Brian and I picked up balloons the night before, as well as some party favors to surprise the kids with. I made cupcakes and we had Mac & Cheese with apples for lunch. (And since it was a Saturday, Brian was down working in the basement, hence the work clothes).

 For one of our projects, we made a bookend to hold up all our board books. The kids and I had done some preliminary painting the day before,

but Michael added some stripes to the end stands,

We found this truck at the Wood Connection, and Brian cut it in half so that we could make it into bookends. Rachel and Michael painted the main colors, and I did touch up and a little detail work. Brian screwed the truck to the bookend boards (he also made the bookend boards). I love how it turned out:

 And it put the finishing touch on the baby's room. All set for some rocking and reading to our new little guy.

 After the bookends, we started on decorating some onesies. I had several fabrics to choose from and printed out 4 designs for the kids to do. They each picked a fabric and a design to make.

I manned the iron

  I let Michael cut his design out.

 Brian helped Rachel cut hers

 Ta Dah! Rachel picked the tie and the "scary owls"

 Michael did a whale cut out on whale fabric.

 Next, we let the kids open some presents that our neighbors were kind enough to give us. (I've been surprised how many people have given us things, even though I didn't have a shower).

The kids each got a little box full of glow in the dark as a thank you favor for coming to the baby shower. We ended just in time for the afternoon session of General Conference. I love how this shower turned out. We got to spend some good time as a family, and my middle-child syndrome is satisfied.