May Birthdays

My grandpa turned 80 in May. Chelsea let me know that she was planning to head up to Idaho to surprise him for his birthday. We went back and forth about whether or not to go with her. Michael would miss his last soccer game. It would mean that Brian would miss a day of work during his first week back following his 4 week paternity leave. We had a barely 1 month old baby. We were tired. I was telling Chelsea some of this and she made me feel kind of bad for having so many excuses to miss Grandpa's big day. So, we made plans to go. Brian cleared it with work. We told Michael that he would have to miss his game. 

My mom and aunt decided it would be cool to throw him a surprise party on Saturday, May 21, the day after his birthday, and invite all his friends from the neighborhood. On Wednesday, May 18, I mentioned to my mom that I wish we'd have thought of the party thing sooner and then I could have made an invitation. My mom said, "You still should! I'll print them and deliver them today." So, I got to work on it. I also designed a label to put on a can that we planned to fill up with 80 memories of Grandpa printed out and attached to 80 pieces of Double Mint gum, his favorite. 

I put off all my plans for the day and frantically made an invitation and sent it off to my mom. She had them printed out, basically ready for delivery when my aunt Trina called my mom and said, "So, Mom (my grandma) says they're thinking about going to Utah this weekend to see Aaron (my cousin)'s rugby state championship game." My mom asked whether we should spill the beans about the surprise. Apparently, my grandma didn't know that we were planning anything because of a miscommunication. They told my grandma, but they decided to come to Utah anyway. And just like that, our painfully laid plans were out the window!

My uncle in Kaysville decided to throw Grandpa a birthday BBQ here in Utah, so the party just changed locations, and lost a good chunk of the guest list, including my parents and aunt. But, we had a good laugh about the whole thing anyway. My Grandma was so happy to meet Gabe and finally hold him. 

 My cousin, Nathan, even held Gabe for a little while. He's expecting his first baby in November. It was sweet watching him. I still can't believe how old Nate is!

 Here are the memories I contributed to my Grandpa's 80 memory jar:

I love that you called me “Neighbor Girl”. Even though it has been awhile since I’ve heard you call me that, every now and then, when I feel shy about visiting my neighbors and reaching out, I remember that at one point, I was so good at visiting others that you gave me that nickname.

I loved holding your hand during church. I loved feeling the rough spots and wrinkles,
knowing that they were a reflection of a lifetime of hard work. It always made me feel good.

I loved riding in the back of your pick up. We’d load up with cousins, and it didn’t matter
how far we went, it always felt awesome with the wind flying past our ears. I especially loved hanging out in the back of your pick-up to go sledding.

I loved it when you would take us up on the lake in your boat. So many good times. I was sad that the two summers that I was ready to waterski, you were on your mission, but it was worth the missed lake visits to have you serve.

You have always been a man of few words, so whenever you talked, I paid attention. I
remember you telling me that when it was time for me to get married to find a man who
already had his priesthood and was ready to take me to the temple. It left a big impression on me.

I loved going to Nauvoo and seeing you as a missionary. I loved how much you loved your mission. I loved watching you dance at the Sunset on the Mississippi Program, and how we got you to smile when we cheered, “Yeah Twinkle Toes!” We considered it a great accomplishment. We were so proud to tell everyone there that you were our grandparents.

I loved that after your mission, I saw you doing dishes more often. In fact, after that, you
were usually the one doing them. You were always tall to me, but somehow, watching you bent over a sink full of dishes, you were taller.

 I love going camping with you andGrandma. It never feels quite right without the two of you there.

Once when we were huckleberry picking, I found an ax by a tree. I think it had a broken
handle or something. You were one of the closest adults, so I showed you. You were
impressed by my find, and so I gave you the ax. I learned the art of scrounging and
upcycling—seeing the good in something that others have passed over—from you.

I loved riding in the car with you on road trips to Oregon. Usually, I rode with my parents to Boise because of my hip appointments, but I loved those times when I got to switch up and ride with you and Grandma. You always had yummy treats and cool tapes to listen to.

You only tease people you like, and I’ve loved seeing how much you tease Brian,  because I know that means you think very highly of him, and your approval of Brian means so much to me.

I’ve loved watching you with my kids. I love it when you play with them, or feed them.

I loved those times growing up when we would get to play games with you, and I love it
when I go home now and still get to. It always feels like a special honor to be included in a game. I can’t play 5 Crowns without wanting to hit the top of the deck and say, “Wild
Card!” I also love playing “Oh H@!!”, especially at the last round. You make a pained face and say, “I really hate this game.” It’s always a good time.

The prime real estate spot at the dinner table and at church was sitting next to you, and
every so often, I would beat Chelsea out for that spot, and I always felt just a little smug. I loved sitting next to you any chance that I got.

I loved that you made me a shelf instead of a stool for my graduation present. Others
protested, but I really wanted a shelf and knew I would get more use out of it. I’ve loved that shelf, and keep thinking that one day, I’ll get brave enough to ask you to make me another one so I have a set, but if not, I’ll always be proud of that shelf and that you made it specifically for me.

And from Brian:

I remember being a little intimidated by you at first, especially since you don't say
much. But then you gave me some puzzle challenge for Christmas and I saw how much you enjoyed watching me try to figure that out, and I knew you liked me (at least a little bit).

 We stayed too late, and the kids all fell asleep in the car before we got home. I love this picture. I have a similar one with Baby Rachel in the little mirror. And now there are three.

The following Tuesday was Chelsea's birthday. I took the kids up to Ogden to hopefully help her out on her birthday. I'm not sure that I did much. I did do some dishes and vacuumed her floor, but that seems rather pathetic now.

 Chelsea was one of my best friends growing up. We shared a room for so many years, and we often got in trouble for talking and giggling when we were supposed to be sleeping. She always had my back and would go all mother-bear on anyone that messed with me. She's the one that keeps most of my siblings together. She means so much to me, and I'm so glad that she's my sister.

May in Pictures

I grew up with a very idealized view of motherhood. I pictured bliss, happiness, sweetness all the time. While being a mother had brought me my greatest joys, and there are plenty of blissful moments filled with lots of sweetness, there are also many moments filled with frustration, annoyance, and even anger. This must have been one of those moments, because the sign I'm holding up says, "GRRRR!" 

Two weeks after Michael was born, I bundled him up in his slicky and walked from our apartment over to the BYU Health clinic for his circumcision. I can picture the walk, with the leaves starting to turn orange and the slight crispness in the October air. I got light-headed watching the procedure, which I now realize was most likely due to the over exertion of the walk over there with my slippery bundle since I'm not one to be weak at the sight of blood. I also remember Michael being strapped to the board and screaming his head off. So, this time around, I delegated the circumcision appointment to Brian.

And I just snuggled him a lot after they got back:

I snuggled with Gabe a lot during May.

 Rachel decided to try a different style of wearing dresses. It cracked us up so much!

More Gabe snuggles:

Brian really wanted to help Chelsea out with some things around the house since Thomas was gone, so he coordinated with Cal to see when he could come too and then we all headed up to Odgen for a service day. Well, thanks to too much overexertion and not enough healing, I was forbidden to help with anything, but I watched and talked to Chelsea. It was the first time Chelsea met Gabe, and she fell in love with him.

Chelsea decided that what she really needed help with was moving her swing set. When they got it, Thomas set it up right off of her patio, but she wanted it out by her back fence. Since the ground sloped back there, the boys had to dig and level it out. Cal and Brian did most of the digging, and Ethan, who was able to come as well, fixed her gate.

Taryn and David came as well, and David and Brian were able to finish hanging sheetrock in one of the rooms downstairs.

Taryn and I headed out to buy pizza for dinner

and we took Heather with us so she could pick out flowers. Mothers' day was the coming Sunday, and I knew that Chelsea was really sad about it since Thomas wasn't going to be there. The kids planted the flowers that I bought for an early mother's day present to Chelsea. Michael, Rachel, and Aaron helped too.

This last year, I got to see some of the costs of deployment. It's such a sacrifice. Our military men and women aren't the only one sacrificing. The families that stay behind also sacrifice. Dad (or mom) isn't around for birthdays, Christmases, holidays, first days of school, lost teeth, and so much more. The spouse left behind is like a single parent constantly worrying about the brood of children and the soldier overseas. It's been a hard year on my sister, and I was grateful for Brian for wanting to help her out and ease some of her burdens.

Did I mention that we enjoyed lots of Gabe snuggles in May?

Michael made this sweet sign/card for all his grandmothers for Mothers' Day, and the kids posed for a picture to send to them:

And I insisted on a picture with the three sweeties who call me mom:

Brian got me Swiss chocolate...so good!

And these beautiful flowers. I love lilies! 

We felt like we were doing pretty good adjusting to life with three kids:

I mean, look at the great help we had:

I didn't want Brian to get bored and stir crazy while he was on paternity leave, so we hired our neighbor to help Brian with some basement projects. They built the shelves for our closets

and started installing trim. This closet was our trickiest one. It had a weird pop-out and is really big. We wanted it to be our game closet, so we wanted lots of shelves. I designed it in Sketch-up and Mike and Brian made it a reality. I'm really proud of this closet. No one looking at it will even know how tricky it was to design it, because it turned out so well. One of my professors said that interior design is about solving problems, and I feel like I nailed this one!

One day, Michael was holding Gabe in the other room while I was working on something in the office. I heard Michael start reading. When I came into the living room, this is the scene I stumbled on:

We really did let Gabe sleep in his crib sometimes:

One day, Rachel, Gabe, and I headed up to the outlets. When we finished, I told Rachel we were heading home, and she stopped, threw back her head and told me that she wanted to go to more stores. I couldn't help but smile as I pictured many shopping excursions together. I'm so glad I'll have a shopping buddy! We grabbed some lunch at Aunt Annies.

It was so fun spending some time with just Rachel--and Gabe in the stroller.

Michael loves reading to Gabe:

At school one day, Michael learned about volcanoes, and begged me to make some with him. So, I did. The kids put on their mad scientist shirts, compliments of Chelsi and Ivie L and helped me make play dough, dye the play-dough, and then play scientist with the baking soda and vinegar.

I felt like a good mom for the first time in months.

Gabe loves taking baths--he has from his very first one. I love his shark hooded towel. Right now, it swallows him up, but I know it won't be long before it looks tiny on him. We've hit that point with Michael already.

On Sunday, May 15, Gabe turned a month old: 

One Sunday in May, we got together at Lea's house for a birthday party for Cole, which meant more Gabe snuggles:

I also played Poison with the boys and almost won. Almost. It was so nice to be feeling better finally!

Gabe grew way too fast in May. He had a head start on Michael weight-wise at birth, but he grew out of his newborn clothes in just over a month, where Michael stayed in them for about three months. Slow down, Son, slow down!

I couldn't resist getting Michael and Gabe matching shirts. Michael loves it. He'll tell me, "Mom, can  Gabe and I wear our  'Handsome Crew' shirts tomorrow?" Or, "Don't forget to put Gabe in his 'Handsome Crew' shirt today."

Did we also mention that Gabe likes to sleep?

In May, Rachel got her first real haircut. I kind of got choked up, even though it was really just a trim to make everything even. Still...

And since I took a picture of Rachel in the fancy hair-cutting chair, Michael wanted me to take his picture too:

And then we headed off to Target with just the four of us--our first shopping excursion without Brian (since his paternity leave sadly ended.) This is how we handled it:

Nights in May went something like this: Jammies for Michael and Rachel, teeth brushed, scripture reading, tuck Michael and Rachel into bed. Then, a couple hours of snuggling with Gabe while Brian and I watched some TV shows. And then, we'd put him in jammies, feed him, and tuck him into bed.

Gabe is a champ sleeper, and after the first week, really only wakes up once at night, eats, and then goes right back to sleep. He's such a sweet, calm little person which makes all the struggles of carrying him for nine months 200% worth it.