Rachel's Birthday

On January 18, we had a family birthday party for the Saville January birthdays, Rachel and Shayne. I made dinner and cupcakes. We all need excuses to get together for dinner and cupcakes, so I'm glad we had two very good ones last month. 

 Rachel had a "2" candle, and Shayne got a "30" plus 6 candles. We have to get creative sometimes. Shayne helped Rachel blow out her candles. And we bought trick candles especially for Shayne.

 Since I was an over-achiever, I threw a birthday party for Michael when he turned two. Even though Rachel feels likes she's much younger than Michael was at 2, I still wanted to throw a little party for Rachel. When does she ever get to have friends over just for her? Following the tradition I started with Michael, the 2-year-old birthday party is a strict "no gifts please" policy.

We had her party the day before her birthday while Michael was at preschool. We started off downstairs in our messy, messy under construction basement. The kids jumped on our little tramp

 and went down the slide. Then, I pulled out special gift boxes--party kits for each of her guests.

 Inside the box were chalk, a punch balloon, a container of Play-doh. We started with Chalk. Rachel loves playing with sidewalk chalk, but since it was January, we took to the basement instead of the driveway.

 When they were done with that, we went upstairs to play with balloons. That's when Rachel saw her special balloon, compliments of Skyler and Aunt Lea. (Lea said, "It's not a gift; it's a balloon!" Sneaky. And we all loved the fishy balloon. It's been 4 weeks, and it is still floating strong around here.)

 Skyler really liked his punch balloon.

  

 After they were sick of balloons, we busted out the playdoh. There is nothing quite like brand new playdoh!

 And then we had more cupcakes!

 I felt like it was the perfect party for the littles--only an hour! We were so glad that Emmett and Skyler could come.

That whole day, all I could think was, "This is her last day being 1."

This is Rachel's very last picture as a 1-year-old:

On Thursday, January 22, Rachel officially turned 2. Before Brian left for work, Rachel opened a few presents (I always got to open my presents in the morning growing up. On Brian's last birthday, he said something about how he always had to wait until his dad got home, and I realized that that was the case with my siblings too. But my dad never had to work on my birthday, since it is a national holiday. So, we all get to open presents in the morning, because that's when I think presents get opened.)

 Rachel LOVES her babies. In fact, for logistics reasons, we ended up having Rachel with us when we picked out and bought her presents. I really wanted to get doll stuff from Toys R Us, and since it's clear in Orem, our only chance to go was when our kids were with us. Good thing she's still young, right? She wasn't too interested in the stuff we were looking at until we hit the doll section. That's when she started pointing and exclaiming, "Baby! Baby!" So, we got her feeding toys for her baby:

 Michael made her a special card/present:

We made breakfast for dinner. Rachel loves waffles!

 And Rachel got to open more presents. She got cute clothes and a fun book from Grandma and Grandpa:

 And puzzles from Mom and Dad. Rachel loves puzzles.

 I fretted more over her cake than any I ever made for Michael. Rachel doesn't talk much, so it's hard to know what she's really excited about--except babies. And that seemed too bridal showerish to do a baby cake. So, this is what I came up with:

 I was happy and surprised by how it turned out. Cakes are NOT my thing, but my mom always decorated our cakes for our birthdays, and I loved them. They were always so pretty. My mom is so amazing at decorating. I just want my kids to have cool cakes like I did.

 And she actually blew out all those candles. It was slow, but she did it.

We're so grateful to have this little redhead in our family. She keeps us laughing. And even though she's getting into everything and causing so much havoc, as my neighbor says, "All she has to do is smile" and we melt. Every. Time. Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea!

Michael's Second Recital

On January 17, Michael had his 2nd recital at Art City Music Academy. He did great! He's the youngest in his class.

  I forget how tiny he is until he's sitting at a grand piano!

 His teacher, Miss Laura, was so awesome! 

It was a bittersweet night, because it marked the end of our time with Art City Music Academy. Michael has done really well, but it has been a bit of a fight/struggle, and we decided that the best thing for Michael is private lessons. The group situation was hard because a lot of the time, he'd be ready to move on, or they would be ahead and he would struggle to follow where they were going. So, Lea has kindly agreed to teach him. So far, things have been going much better, and I get to spend time hanging with Skyler each week while Lea and Michael do lessons. And I have an excuse to see Lea once a week. So far, everyone is winning (except maybe Lea. Not sure about her ;)

Adobe Fever

A couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, one of Brian's old co-workers invited him to have lunch with him and a few people from his team at Adobe. Though Brian wasn't looking to change jobs, he decided to go check it out. He came home more excited about anything work wise than I'd seen him in a while. The very next week--not even a full 7 days after the lunch--Brian met with them for an official interview, complete with a technical interview. I was invited to tour the campus. It was all very, very exciting. Adobe has been on Brian's list for a long time of a place he was interested in working for, and all of a sudden, we had an amazing job offer sitting in our laps! We were both reeling--especially Brian.

But, we were torn. His job at AC had treated us very well over the last four years, and they immediately offered to match what Adobe was offering. Brian had lots of friends there, lots of responsibility that he felt bad about walking away from, lots of recognition, and lots of excitement with a rumored acquisition coming up that could mean potential for much, much more. He also had an office--and the move would mean going to very crowded cubicles. Yet, Adobe was a dream job of sorts, and he was going to get to basically keep his work title of software architect (but have it at a much bigger, more recognizable company).  It seemed like a career no-brainer. But we had a lot of loyalty to AC, and we were basically making a decision based on two unknowns. So, what do you do when the pros and cons lists seem to be even? Ask the One who knows what is best, who sees the bigger picture.

We prayed and felt really good about going to Adobe. We decided that we wouldn't haggle over salaries and signing bonuses; we knew it was the right thing to do, and it felt nice to not have it be about money.

In the weeks following that decision, we felt incredibly blessed. Things at Brian's company started looking really, really scary. The rumored acquisition didn't pan out, and the day after Brian officially announced that he was leaving the company (around the 2nd of December), 25 or more people were laid off. In the months since then, more and more key people have left. The company has completely changed since Brian left, and we feel so grateful that the Lord opened up this opportunity for Brian. Whenever we stop and think about it all, we are completely humbled by His goodness, and we wonder why He blesses us so much.

Meanwhile, Brian absolutely loves working at Adobe. He comes home everyday so excited about everything going on there. He talks my ear off every night at dinner, and I love having him so enthusiastic about work again. He really needed a change, and I'm glad that he got one that didn't require us to move. Adobe is all about keeping their employees happy. They have a room filled with computers used strictly for GAMING! Yup, that's right, video games. So, if Brian is stuck with a problem he can't figure out, he heads down to play a game and clear his head. They also have music rooms--at least one with a grand piano and guitars. I'm not sure what all they have. I could go on.

It's been a little rocky on my end adjusting to his new job. He's closer to home, but usually gets home about the same time because of traffic. New insurance cards. New benefits. Different ways of doing things. But, we're finally getting into a good groove, and I realized the other day that this job change is a huge event in our life that needed to be documented. Hence this post. We're both so grateful for Brian's old co-worker---now renewed co-worker/boss for recruiting Brian and giving him Adobe Fever.

What Has Been On My Mind Lately

So there I was, on the playground of Ririe Elementary School, and I saw her. She walked with an air of confidence that I immediately noticed. She had a smile on her face. She was the new girl. She had red hair and green eyes and seemed to have all the boys eating out of the palm of her hand. And I was both scared of her and in awe of  her. So this was Chelsi huh? I guess I could remember her name easy enough--red hair and green eyes and named Chelsi. One of my favorite people in the world had that same combination and went by the same name, only spelled differently. I had no idea that that girl would change my life forever.

The next school year, we were in the same class, and I went from being uncertain of her to wishing we could be best friends. She was so genuinely, no-strings attached nice. It was so refreshing! Over the years we became friends. She always inspired me to be better. Together, we put the cigarette on trial as prosecuting lawyers, treated our freshman seminary class to the Twelve Days of Christmas, and struggled with life in a small town. Looking back, I wish that we had been better friends and hung out more. That we had been closer. That she hadn't transferred to a different school after our Freshman year. That I'd have transferred with her.  She's one of the few from my childhood that I actually made an effort to stay in contact with, because she was always good, always kind, always amazing. 

The first time I saw her husband, Trevor, was on their wedding announcement. I missed their wedding because I was serving my mission. After I got home, I got to know him a little bit via their blog. He was adventurous, he was a loving father, and I knew he had to be amazing because he had the good sense to marry her. He seemed smart and brave, yet tender and kind. I learned that he was a cancer survivor and that, at one point, he'd even had brain surgery.

I finally met Trevor about a year ago. It was shortly after his doctors had found that cancer had returned to his brain. Yet, surely they would be able to get rid of it again--they had before, right? I began praying for him, a man I barely knew, and for his wonderful wife, whom I had looked up to for so many years, and for their two sweet children who are the same ages as my own.

Meanwhile, Chelsi and I would take our kids on outings. I'd come to her house to help her take on the huge task of moving in and decorating, We'd get together for lunch. We'd read each other's blogs. And she would update me on Trevor's progress with Chemo. Many times, after leaving her company, I would cry thinking about what she was going through. It hit so close to home; it could easily be us.

In the last month and a half, things took a sharp turn for the worse. Chemo stopped working, and so radiation was the next option. I had offered to take family pictures back in November, but I knew it was time to really make it happen. We went to their house for Family Home Evening. She provided dinner, and I brought my studio. I took pictures of the kiddos while we waited for Trevor to get home from work. Brian came after he got off work, and he finally got to meet Trevor. Brian left with the kids, and I spent the next hour taking pictures, praying the whole time that I could be inspired and get it right, that I could somehow capture the essence of this little family.

 When Trevor and the kids had had enough, I called it. Chelsi got the kids in bed while I packed up the studio. And then we talked for another hour or two. As she talked, I sat in awe of her strength, her determination, and especially her smile. Despite her worries, she still stayed positive. She admitted to having moments where she completely breaks down. She wondered how she was going to tell her almost five-year-old about the cancer. (I remembered that I was about 4 or 5 when my best friend/brother was diagnosed with cancer, and how I knew something very serious was going on, but I didn't really understand. I felt a small affinity to that little girl, but I knew so much more about cancer now.) She worried about the nanny that is going to come and take care of her kids while she heads back to the workforce. She worried about staying strong for her little family. She thanked me for coming, and I left wishing I could do more, give more, be more.

And I cried all the way home.

Over the next week, while I worked on editing the pictures, Chelsi's world started falling apart even more. Trevor was getting worse. This last week, I finally finished editing pictures, and my last big push happened to be the day she posted this:

Trevor is fighting an amazing fight.

But despite our best efforts, it is very likely his night is drawing closer. (Drs tell me that less than ten months is likely, even if continued radiation results in some tumor stabilization, while we can "probably count weeks in double digits, we should not count on getting to double digit months. There is also the possibility that his awareness and presence can further deteriorate after the next two weeks).

As he continues to rage against the dying of this world's light I want the last of his earthly time to be full of love...

Please don't mistake, we are not giving up. We will always hope for a miracle. But we are bearing this burden as well as we can while submitting to a will greater than ours.

As I worked on editing the pictures of the sweet faces of those kiddos, I was sobbing. I sobbed as I worked on pictures of Trevor. My heart just about couldn't take it, and I almost called Lea to ask her to finish them, because it hurt so much. It hurt that this was happening to my amazing friend, and that I was so powerless to help.  That we didn't have much time to get to know Trevor. That we might even be in the way if we did try to get to know him. That this might be the last family picture I get to take of all of them together. But I remembered Chelsi, and I knew if her shoulders could handle everything that life keeps throwing at her, surely I could help lighten that load, pull it together, and finish editing her pictures.

And every night, and every morning, and many times throughout every day, I think of Trevor. I think of their little kiddos. I think of that girl who I have known since 3rd grade and who I have looked up to for so long. And I pray for a miracle. I pray that the Lord can be with them, and hold them in the palm of His hand. That He will help them have the strength to endure all this. That His angels will surround them and lift them up.

I thank the Lord every night that my little family is healthy. I thank Him for the bounteous blessings in my life. I thank Him that He has let me know this little family. I ask Him to help me love my children more, to not take anything for granted. I ask Him to open my eyes to see needs of those around me, to live my life so it means something. I thank Him for my Savior, who somehow makes all of this right. And even though it hurts, and I wish things for my friend were different, I'm grateful for the reminder about how fragile life is, for the reminder that this life is only a small part of His grand eternal plan, that we will all live again, see each other again. That it really isn't too late to get to know Trevor.

So, my dear blog-world friends, I ask you to join your prayers with mine. Please pray for Chelsi, for Trevor, for their kiddos, and for Trevor's doctors. And if you want to help, here's a way that you can: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/join-the-linderman-s-fight-/303310